Covid-19 is not just one stressor we are having to learn how to manage. There are many layers to this challenge and some complicated dynamics involved.
Stress comes in many forms: big stress, exciting stress, and little stressors. I talk with clients mostly about paying attention to the little ones. This is because most of us can manage, even if not very gracefully, with the big stuff. We are incredibly adaptable and resilient. This “big stuff” includes experiences like moving or changing jobs, even the loss of a loved one is met with attention and a certain degree of an of-course-I-need-to-take-care-of-myself attitude. In the midst of this, however, there is a lot going on that we are not even aware of. When these aspects aren’t given warm attention, they can actually increase our stress, but when the stuff underneath is offered care and mindful awareness, it can bring forth considerable resource and buoyancy.
Sessions Are Available During Covid-19: Teletherapy & In-person
Finding support during this time is important. Hopefully reading through this page will help normalize the tremendous challenge that we are all living through right now and will offer some support that you can implement on your own. Even with that support though, having somewhere to express your worries and frustrations can be so helpful and can open up the rest of your conversations for more enjoyable topics. Please reach out if you’re interested and we can have a phone visit to see if we might be a good fit.
Since limiting contact is the safest way to limit the spread of the virus and offer greater protection for clients, teletherapy is still being encouraged at this time for all adult sessions.
In support of in-person visits, however, a True HEPA air filter has been purchased for the office. This greatly supports the connection, support and integration for children clients and offers opportunities for in-person intakes and periodic in-person sessions for adults as well.
COVID-19 7 Steps to Safer In-Person Sessions
- Screening Questionnaire
- Limited socialization
- Masks
- In-office hand sanitation
- Reduction of toys available in therapy so that all may be washed after sessions
- Extended time between sessions for cleaning and filtration
- In-office True HEPA IAdapt Air filtration device, which cleans the air several times per hour
IAdapt Air offers 5 advanced filtration technologies:
- HEPA filtration: removes ultra-fine airborne particles
- Carbon filter: absorbs odor and volatile organic compounds
- AHPCO coded screen and UV-GI light: further eliminates germs and VOCs
- Far reaching Bipolar ionization: ions seek out and deactivate contaminants in the air and on surfaces
The Covid-19 Pandemic Isn’t Just About a Virus
Loss
- Lives
- Loved ones
- Employment and/or financial security
- Community: spiritual community, friendships, gym or pilates studio, co-workers; for children they are missing fellow students, neighbors and friends
- Ease: groceries, getting together, being together
- Comfort: restaurants, places of worship, support of friends,
- Common ground and a feeling of unity and collaboration
- Connection: to community as well as just seeing other’s faces
- Natural separation between work and home or between family members that are now all home together
- Special occasions and holidays, including birthdays, graduations, weddings and funerals; even if it did take place it was most likely compromised in many ways
Uncertainty
- Regarding duration, degree of threat, and outcome
- Regarding expectations for employment, education, recreation
- Mixed messages from leadership and within the media
- Long term side effects from the virus
- Children wondering how long they will be in-person or if they will get to go back to in-person and if they do, the question comes up again for how long
- Effects of the vaccine, such as actual impact on the spread, how long it will last and potential side effects
- Uncertain effects of variant strains of the virus on effectiveness of the vaccine
Safety / Risk
- Actual threat to our health and well-being due to the virus itself
- Potential threat to our safety due to visible aggression and violence
- Perceived threat to one’s values and way of living due to division within the country
- New threats with variant strains of the virus
To Manage Stress Skillfully We Need Something a Little Different Than Stress Management Techniques
Often, our approach to managing stress is about handling the big stress with big stress reducers, essentially all the techniques we learned in stress management classes, like getting a massage, going for a walk, having tea with a friend, making lists, creating a schedule or making more time for the gym. These are all important, and I hope that in the midst of this challenge of covid-19 these strategies are solidly in place. But I want to offer something different.
I want to talk about the stress that often goes unnoticed but that is challenging us nonetheless, sometimes in very significant ways, especially during a time like covid-19, when the stress has been ongoing for many, many months and includes not just the virus but stress like that listed above including losses, uncertainties and risks. I want to make some room for that and I want to offer options for some of the littler, but potentially more impactful ways of supporting ourselves.
With warmth and mindfulness our activities are transformed into potent support for regulation.
This support includes:
- the often overlooked value of taking a mindful breath or naming our discomfort, confusion or anger.
- giving ourselves permission to be motivated and working through this one day, and feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and unsure about how we’re going to keep doing this the next.
- having a schedule and a plan for ourselves and still finding ourselves resistant to unloading the dishwasher or avoiding the walk that we usually enjoy.
This is about trusting the support of:
- a snuggly blanket and a cup of tea
- a playful romp with our dog in the backyard
- a moment of attention to the warmth of the water during our morning shower
Essentially, we’re stuck in a yucky, stressful, unclear situation where we have lost the way we want things, lost the way we like things, and lost the way we were used to things, and in many ways lost our ability to chose things for ourselves. And then on top of that, even though for the most part things are fine, we also know we are not completely safe and we, or our loved one(s), might get sick.
So much of what we need, to keep finding perspective and an ability to keep moving through this, is warmth and care for the stress at hand and love and care for ourselves. If nothing else, we can keep from putting the stress of wishing it were different or pressuring ourselves to feel fine when we don’t.
This includes:
- really acknowledging what’s going on
- really noticing and honoring how we’re feeling including anger, overwhelm, exhaustion, defensiveness, irritability, impatience and apathy, as well as the feelings that seem contradictory to the situation like relief, and enjoyment
- really giving permission for the difficulty of caring for ourselves in the midst of this
- really listening to our bodies, our partners, and our children and offering the warmth and care needed to endure this deep and longstanding stress
Support for kiddos: understanding and coping with Covid-19
If you notice the longest list up there is regarding what we’ve lost. And this list is going to get longer as families take stock of the ways this has effected them personally. I hope that this has not just been a year for losses, stress and challenge, however. I hope that we have also leaned into this, in whatever we can, and have learned something new about ourselves and what we need. I hope each of us has been able to open up to new perspectives, cultivate new habits, and learn new ways of caring for ourselves. I hope in some way we have been courageous and approached some of the existential questions lying just underneath the surface like: who am I if I can’t do the things I usually do to help me feel like myself; how to I manage being okay in the midst of loss and change; do I need all these external things to help me feel okay; can I look toward those years of my life that, if I live long enough, will leave me mostly confined to my home, not able to visit friends and family with the ease I was used to or be able to play and work the way that helps me feel whole? And even after the pandemic is “over” there will be challenges as we learn how to integrate back into life, including aspects that might seem hard to imagine like having to get used to a commute again and the feelings that go with this of pressure or irritation as you head out the door, or finding time to balance work with friend time, or even though it was frustrating that your partner was home all of the time, now there’s a little sadness or jealousy or loneliness when they have plans with friends. And all of this, and so much more that’s unique to each of us will take our warmth and attention as well.
Stepping Stones of Sanity to Wade the Waters of Covid-19
Here Are a Couple of Articles from Longmont Magazine
May/June edition of the Longmont Magazine.
January/February edition of the Longmont Magazine.